things Inotice

When I put focus on something I am at peace especially music  I don't have to react to things around me I don't have to even react to the music externally. I feel my soul or spirit resonates within me and it feels good I don't think about smoking having sex playing games or even the fact that I'm jobless I just wanted love I wanted to give love I wanted to feel the vibes of the correct people and correct environment the thing that made Delaware aka the ghost zone so great is the vibe not really the drugs and alcohol it kinda helped but it wasn't necessary I was getting love the vibration of love in all directions my unwillingness to see that is what messed it up along with the fact that certain things really don't last forever but it's always a reason why .I just wanted to meet andhave conversation with people on my wave length I know who I am I am more than a man but that's another story I've been letting my decedent pleasure take over and control my vision don't get me wrong I love smoking weed is one of the most lovely substance in existence however I do not need itthe people I'm around struggle and complain about the struggle which make me complain which brings down my vibration so I still can mob with the homies but I desperately need my me time I am my own best friend since I've been with me for 23 years I naturally rely on me , heavily. I don't like bothering people I don't like people to know I want them for the fact that a lot of people rub your face in it so being alone for 22 years of my life Was natural. I say 22 and not 23due to the fact that my 2year relationship really didn't start until the first year was done it so much negativity that year and I've brought some here to the present one of my fondest memories was us talkingwe was there in the now that was my best friend and now we trying to work back to it but it's hard when I'm reminded why we stop or why did I feel un loved /wanted in the first place I don't know why I harbor so much negativity maybe I'm nervous that it will happen again it's the only explanation I'll get through it because I want to be happy but I can't be if I hold ill will against one of the most important people in my life but it could wave lengths in conclusion I've let a lot of people knock me off my path for enlightenment and consciousness my friends classmates the random people I encounter and even family I'm trying my hardest to not let that happen again



So this isawkward

Yea

Do you still love me

Pain, you know I didn't love you I need you and understand you

I knew it you love thatbitch life don't you

Kinda I do have love for her but I love somethingway more

What is it ........