Confession

It's no surprise that I had low self esteem and my previous state of mind prove that my thoughts was detrimental I wanted to push people not just for my selfish gain but for protection. see I didn't want to get hurt by death rather  intentional or otherwise so in order to not deal with the emotional stress that will be placed upon me when it happens I decided to just cut off ties with people. nowadays its a lil opposite I talk to people and try to keep connections the difference is I want to gain and spread as much knowledge, good energy and vibes as possible. I asked a lot of people the purpose of life and I got a lot of different answer but when it ask I always get an surprised look as if its nothing they have ever thought about. I know i'm not the only one who have had a depression affect me so I know they must have thought at least once" why I am I here? what is my plan? where can I go next?" as children these thought don't ever once cross our mind but when the truth about mortality comes in to play things change. It seems as human we grasp things and expect them to be with us forever. which is not really wrong just a tad bit foolish. this reason alone is the reason why I cut ties with people. all people will leave rather intentional or otherwise. it can be emotionally escaping , mentally moving on or  a physical push off or the worst case scenario death.
we all will feel pain its an aspect of life (remember balance ) but the thing to remember that pain comes from love  you have to felt something (love or love equivalent) in order for it to hurt. I will continue to research and learn to understand life. Soo far I came across with a few things that seem to be a part of my answer: Love, Pain, Balance, Knowledge. I must I am not looking for someone to say that life is about god because what is god? Until you can explain what god is and give an answer that wont offend anyone then you cant explain god. For you have people who don't believe in god but you cant not believe life because we all by definition are alive................ or are we ?????






R.I.P Pop Pop


See you at the crossroads