operation shadows sucide

so i know i havent said it but i have been trying to end it all for a while im unhapy with the life and under great amount pressure so with this party i plan to get alchol posining n od or what ever but it failed because im alive to tell the tale but this is not the only time im a true this this month or year i just want to be happy even if im dead i feel like a bad person and if noone loved me that would make soo much sence shit i dont even like me let alone love me im make this short im dying slowly nside and my phone died like it fell in the toliet so i gotta get a new phone again