money art and wars

so i finally had a breakdown with no tears its seems like the closer i get with god the  more i feel attack and i see it like last night i felt something i have never felt before as the gammit of emotion take control of me i listen to music and did something forbidden i wont say what i did but i wasn't suppose to do but with each time it was a rush and high that was controlled by adrenaline and it was addictive because i craved it more and more so i didnt stop but anyway the depression shit has been increased inflated n went though a influx like 10 fold like smiling is rare people ask whats wrong i finnally say bad and after a while it would be dissolved and noone cares but at least this time its different like i finally  told yall so its no longer a secret but neway either way it goes i feel depressed stress and in need of rest not physical one but an .........i dont know im broke and my art is kinda diminishing and it causes wars dont love me oh yeah i just been told that even with all my effort ill  still get thrown under the bus while my friend whos is not interested in love gets it i dont get it why lord when is it my turn im sorry i kinda snapped for a bit n now with everyone knows i can finally becoming H.I.M  if u dont know who is "he" look at my post previously


oh yea i had  a dream about being backstage with ab soul with him proforming in philly and we was smoking and spitting and i asked to be soul brother number 3 and that dream was soo vivid you my cousin naim was in and xo was in shit was crazy im mad it wasnt real ne

the tattoos i wear
are actually tears
that i ripped but also carry with fear
when make one the other disapear
and when the other is gone the other is forever there