i sit here with a new view on life i take that back i have the same redefined view with minor readjustments for an example since i had the pleasure of tasting the bittersweet poison called alcohol i would like more of it especially with the feeling of being high when im the this drunk/high(on) state i feel bliss even tho hear something say this is very self destructive to u i dc actually in all realities i want it to destroy me for one ill die happy 2 in this state death doesn't scare me (i mean it doesn't normally but in this state the lack of fear is actually amplified to a another state where i welcome death ) n this feels what i been missing in life an escape from this dry reality this sick twisted normality kills me slowly then the poisons i chose to enter my body i haven't thought about suicide until i got back in philly maybe i should live in Delaware and move to nj when im 21 why nj its a new place no one knows me so ill have a reason to ignored then there i would work on my art n escape my mind by doing mind altering drugs then some hard stuff coke crack n etc y because my self destruction brings me pleasure which means one thing everything i just stated is a pacifier in the sense where it doesn't solve or even nullify the problem i have just put them in the back burner n outta my mind for a time period fuck im sick i need some body (a girl) to take care of me i wonder if i use love as a pacifier ???
becoming H.I.M (Happy In my Madness)
self DestructiOn Under Construction (DO U.C )
oh iand by the way if u like these post follow me on bloger if im not mistaken u just need a google account because soon i will block my page untill i feel like opening it back up so follow or you wont see these ne more
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