how about now

So I got anew phone from this bad ass asian chick I need to text so I can get the website for the new battery n shit but yea I'm just blogging from my blackberry(techniclyim not i send it to my email and copy and paste it on the computer technogy crazy huh ) blog blog blog I got to finsh this song I call it ROADS meaning rambling on a desperation song so once I finish that song that's 4 n I got to do memories (sound of a female) n is  gentlemen ever in season so that's 6 then my song about death n religion. I don't have a clever name for it yet next is a song about careless people in a postive light[to moan in poon (ba] (8) a song about music being a drug then fear (forget everything and react). So that's decadence and i have been feeling pretty depressed lately i try to reach out to people but i cant get the ones that i want my fault blahh  fuckin blah blah i dont fuckling care i covver my ears so i cant hear the nay sayers ugh i need togo the ghost soon if i dont i will snap and im not trying to but i also need amy poetry and rammys presence (you cant wonder why i need all 3 ) i wonder if i get a girlfriend will she have all these quilties (most likely not) but i need someone stable but i wont most likely this is gonna be a long cold fucking winter (so wait the last girl you had 1 only lasted 6 months and was close to 6 months ago smh at you man )so i guess its back to imagination gettin lost in it and let me explain im not begging for love i want companionship with a female so im gonna create it with my mind (SMH) but i guess im done amy is on the phone irony
                               {end transmission}

Sonic the hedgehog is dead

but not by my hands!?!?!?
but by the hands of amy ?!?!?!

crazy shit but its true and you think this is a great day for me but no no where close because of me being next of the bench someone else is now on the floor (WHAT?!!?!?!?!) iknow i thought i was next but no some other nigga is like what the fuck but thats my fault n guess what no more secret ron-day-vooos so im basicly done who would have thought that if my mortal enemy dies ill be dead too... sad day in the hedgehog life guess shadow is dead danny might be brought up just so i could go ghost in the ghost zone i wont even go for ember ill just go for the numbness rammy is elsewhere and lisa is gone completely both of them because of one did and the other basicly commited suicide (emotionlly) umm nothing left to say just bout to be happy in my maddness
happy in (my) maddness
H
I
M
GET IT
                                                   {END TRANSMISSION}

behind da scenes triple k

peep the bars

never look at this directly

i noticed that noone is special but human attachment makes you special just like money if people had no attachment to it it would be nothing but green paper with old dead people on it people are the same like everyone was strangers at first then you grew to know ,care,love a person and now you are in a relationship and with a person you dont wanna "live without" i thought about that awhile ago while listening to the voices they have been more signifcant and more vocal like thats why they speical like that logic but idont care i got to make a 10 song mixtape by dec ?? i will give myself a deadline of the 12th of dec just because i need one i been rapping for a decade 10 years n if it takes another 10 years so the fuck be it because i have a dream AND BITCH IM GONNA LIVE IT  so i lost it for a min but check it im not rushing nothing in life anymore everything is now going to be with  the flow ill make a song about it later nice lil consept omg now i wanna rap n btw mickey factz is motherfucking sick 
peace

my dream well dreams

1. so i was doing a run for my school and i cheated and the finishline was at penn landing (which is not weird ) and its night time (kinda weird) so i was at the finishline then i was approached by a random girl (yes she was white did u mention u have to mention that )  and we had small talk them started making out then a crowd came and we stopped to see what was going on and when i turned around she was gone i tried to look for her in my school which was at penns landing( very weird considering the fact that my school mlk hs is in uptown ) and when i went in it was day time but i can turn around and see the night sky at penns landing (fucking trippy) so i was walking in my distorted school and came acrossed her in the computer room then i woke up

2 it was quicker then the last one i was talking to someone and my aunt told me to come get my son but i was watching my nephew nahjeer at the moment but his dad came and got him and i went to get my son and i got lost around my aunt way ran into to old ladys (don't forget they was white too) and we conversed and out the corner of my eye i saw my aunt house so i like ran there so i can get my son n i saw him in a black and gold stroller and he was the cutest dark skin baby ever


i just wanted to tell them two stories really quick  they was so vivid and i was  actually beliveing i had a son or a white "lover" not the first time i had a dream about me haveing children another time was ember was pregnant with my baby n i moved out to live with her (the baby name was melody genisis tadlock  idc how anyof yall feel about that name )

im scared i dont want to have a child now im only 20 its alot of shit i didnt do yet like take a bunch of mind altering drugs for no reason,have a 3 some,4some,orgy wake up in a place where i dont even remembering being i wanted to do so much stuff so i can get the craziness out my mind ,body then i ll be ready for a baby

this better not be a sign (sigh)


                                                                   {end transmission}

                                          CHAOS CONTROL
                           GOING GHOST
POPPIN PILLS

Charles Hamilton - Epic Fail

i am such a ....

the hook descibe my mood

wendy ceas n sunshine in space

i love that girl i swear
no its not Amy
or rammy
or ember
but....

i notice people dont realise love until its too late and if that isnt sad idk what it. like if someone died what do they get omg i love them soo much imagine if thats a suicide victim it would be worse because if u would have said it when they was alive they would still be alive (hint fiucking hint)but any way ive made a song last night well this morning im gonna make one today in this place i should be job searching but ill push it till tomorrow dont ask why well i only got 33 mins left lately ive had the feeling being amorous   to people but it always back fire the feeling of amatory is killing me (see im showing off a new word i learned BE PROUD OF ME ) anyway i have to make some thing good when i do write im staying here until it closes its gonna be cold as fuck going home oh yea my mood swings are back and hard3r then ever (or it could be just us fucking with you) w.e voice but sanity is no longer promised in my life im to unstable (mentally and emotionally) n how can you control instability ........... exactly and what i will do is show u why im diggin micky factz right now above will be the video heart off his mickey mause project i wanna be on this level I'm hungry I'm tired and uii still got shit to do (25 mins fat boy hurry up )  but im done (..) ok then
well
peace
i love you Wendy like soooooo much

wait so i put it there now and so you will see the video below this sorry

Mickey Factz Presents Mickey MauSe: Heart {Scene 6}

$wace - Triple k

OK this is swace video triple k imma promote it for a few reason one because thats my bro and 2 xo the name dont ever put up tags so with this video swace prob wont eat and we cant have that

dark reasons

have been my logic for so many years its been made by one of my voices in my head inside my head its like my head is a dark room (matrix) and many people in this room(voices) and many doors(opportunities /option) i have to pick one in the dark only by what the people say some times they scream some times they quiet and sometimes they repeat some times they say it once but however everyone of them talk and you can tell when they agree because ill be more determined to do something then ever before but thats kinda rare some one always gotta disagree and make me confuse and people thing i can persuade them what do you thing these people can do way worse and even persuade others in my head its gettin crazy but its nice to see im evolving a lil more the final solution is not finished however it wont be until i die do anyone wanna know what it is straight forward ? well its basically the idea of having people by your side and thinking the way you do on certain subjects that when you die either your memory or your ideals will live on (ill give you some examples:hitler,pac,biggie,warhol, basquait etc) so final solution is not just suicide but way to change the world positively(or negatively) also i have been having bad dreams a lot lately and they are very vivid i want the music dreams that cooly pac and ch had lucky its gives them confirmations about music i dont know if i should do poetry  or painting or drawings or movies or photogrophy the art word is to vast so i know i wont be stuck in just one sub genere of it but still is rapping for me can i get that same joy i had as a teen now that im growni need  to reavulate my choices about music umm i have some time to think about it but it will be thought about. LOVE,LUST,LOST now put a "will be " between them 3 words  and by the way i hid my heart if someone cared or even wanted to know its no longer in my chest those on the hunt good luck with finding it mwhaaa (evil laugh)wahhhaaa
                                                {end transmission}
 
                             CHAOS CONTROL

             GOING GHOST

ive lost rammy

its crazy its the 4th time i made someone cry with my actions of being myself or at least let them in to my mind  n i only have 5 girlfriends well had so its safe to say its me i think i need to be away from people for awhile people just dont get me im gonna do operation destroy and rebuild and if you wanna know what it is just hope the library gives me extra time i wanna leave now but i dont have  Internet anywhere else so fuckit my heart hurts figuratively and literally i can only help it one way confession: you know how someone with tattoos say its addictive well my cuts are like that its been times where my arms have been just been begging me to get a knife and just cut them but i cant the few things that makes me happy cant help since now pressure of perfection have been thrown into the mix my phone is broke im broke my mp3 bout to die and basically i cant put no more music on it im alone im questioning existence like do i need to be (kinda i think you do but i can tell you why) well, inner voice inside of me that i put in parenthesis  how can i find out (idk man idk im just as lost as you) i wanna go to nj for some reason i wanna go i wanna leave idont know where just somewhere like anywhere but here (but we cant leave we have "thing we have to do") inner voice you know as well as i nothing is staring to matter (right ) ok then so why should i care about the "things we have to do" (man you got off topic like a fothermucker might as well just wrap it up) ok


IM GONE


                                                        {END TRANSMISSION}

self loathing at its finest people

i don't even know why im writing this (because remember i have to be smiley faces all the time) but i kinda have to i am a 20 year old who is a. jobless b.houseless c.broke d.carless e.not in school now every last one of these things can be fixed not that hard to do but yet they not idk i don't have that ambition that i use to do them. maybe because im not forced or i want to prove people wrong but i cant get by on my dashing good looks for long i have to rise up and take that test for ccp so i can get into school the job thing can come after but here's another thing that fucks me up a social life. ok ever since i was younger i didn't really have a social life per say but once i got older and more social able i attained one and i guess you can say its a sacrifice but im not ready to make that sacrifice i want to have fun so maybe ill focus on either a job or school because a job can help my social instantly with the money and the what not gives me more things to do where school would help me in the long run with the degree and such so its just a matter of what i want  now or later i have to give myself a deadline with out stressing myself out how about before thanksgiving i have to make a choice or what i could do is leave it to fate/god like ok im gonna focus on getting a job if i get one before thanksgiving i have my choice if i don't then in the spring ill be going to ccp i like that plan  that way ill be taking a