The perfect analogy for my life right now is an airplane that was on autopilot now is being controlled by a pilot that how I feelunready un organize. Etc but as i look more and more into I find that true that I can't look inside and find happiness because that side of me is fight with melacoly side its like what joe budden said sometime I hate my reflection other times im con seeded well it true tho i love myself and hate myself like a girl with a devoiced husband of42 yrs