The perfect analogy for my life right now is an airplane that was on autopilot now is being controlled by a pilot that how I feelunready un organize. Etc but as i look more and more into I find that true that I can't look inside and find happiness because that side of me is fight with melacoly side its like what joe budden said sometime I hate my reflection other times im con seeded well it true tho i love myself and hate myself like a girl with a devoiced husband of42 yrs

trop 10 mixtapes or albums

1wale -more about nothing
2lupe - the cool
3lupe - food and liquor
4wale -attention defect
5xv -vizzy zone
6xv -zero heros
7kanye -freshmen dropout
8nerd - fly or die
9nerd - seeing sounds
10 chris brown- chris brown

idont feel so good

A lupe song but also matches my mood I feel useless y? Beacuse I'm unproductive and out of love I mean I love a lot of ppl ok I take that I have love some ppl but I don't feel that bf/gf love that I yearn and need I'm a lover but like a bottle and pacifer I have to ween myself off of it I wanna be coldhearted because no one show me the ammount I need so I'm like a cannibal I can't have the meat o want so I wanna to not eat meat my last hope seems like she don't wanna be with me like I'm a good guy y the fuck not but its cool because when the siummer is over and the weather gets cold so will my heart

tbh

I was asked by my father why don't I have confindence io kno the anwser the years of recule the teasein bullyin and rejections and so on but I still don't kno why I'm notg happy with myself I'm alqways consided avarage or below not ever sexy only to ppl who want me other then that its never andre he is sexy I get oo the black ass nigga with blonde dreads ewww imean am I really that ugly that I can't be fuckable also as a cliffnote I hated prom for the fact of me not havein a date 2 lookin stupid with blonde hair andf a lavender suit 3 I had no date 4 I missee most of it waitin for pictures and most of all nobdoy wanted to dance with me imean I got a few dances but that's it imean I hav low self esttem the only thing I kno I'm good at is rappin I spit a cid my nigga lol no it not funny don't laugh bitch

top 10 favorite food

1 pizza
2 chcoclate
3 chicken wing
4 egg roll
5 cheesesteak
6 fried rice
7 cheese burger
8 grilled cheese
9 pancakes
10 trix yogret

ideal girl

Ard for numbere one she's gotta be smart I love intellgence if we cxan sit down and have a talk on ww 2 that's sexy another thing ivebeen cravin chcoalte lately so she gotta be chcolate she gotta be thick tits and ass and she gotta be at least a 4 in the face she gotta care about me but not to tough but still strict I gotta see her a lot she gotta be affrectionate gotta love rap able enough tro be neive at some point a girl who just as satify to hang out a park then red lobster she gotta be funny silly weird not a boring girl an encentric. Its more but icant think of them lol no not funny don't laugh bitch

the last hope

Is the girl who the rest of my love life will depend on so far all my girlfriends fuckerd up the reason y I'm single but if she fucks up I'm not only goin to be single but just fuck girls with no shame or anything just fuckin bitchesmy exes made me this way blame them

can old love revive itself

I love the way we look at each other even tho we never looked at each other face to face I take place as I take up space in her mind and the same for mine its funny how many people I love without loving myself I could care less if I let my stress bug me out as long as in the house I sit on the couch with the girl ouch that's my insercurty looking at me in a place where looks can kill I get surreal trying to make u feel like I feel about u its real but we would never I'm not afraid to show but I already know my feeling I'm waiting for u tired of being friendly I'm my own enemy just become the sidekick of me