youy probably dont realize why its called

self destruction and why its spelt that way well its a wack ass code Do yoU see (C) its corny but i doubt you saw it everytime im brought back here im depressed maybe because ive had so many depressive moment it taint the beauty of this city for me i dont wanna be here i wanna leave and go somewhere i have a job interview tomorrow and i dont really wanna go because it deals with insurance but to be honest i dont thinkk i have a choice i need money well not really i have noo problem being broke for now i dont know if its because im lazy or just content but i dont really care for some reason my dad didnt help the bridge that he burned so fuck him he ... im sorry im looking at this girl i feel an attraction i have no idea why i get spiritual in a library thats weird maybe it becasuse my mental feel intrigued im going home to pysically destory myself ssome more bye i guyess

nothing left to say

O don't think I'm taking rap seriously here I don't like that my freestyles got better but that's about it nothing to big instill got that cockyness like I don't have something to prove when I do I still didn't finished the two songs I was suppose to its like I wanna rap but I can't and I lost my mp3 player cord so it can charge or put new music (dyme a duzin) on it Swace and Xo are in NY so that means its go time for me and Cooly I gotta hit him back up when I get home I don't know what can put me back not like im quitting I just need a motivator since nothing really does you no if I get my head in these books (rap book) and off these girls I'll probably be better off I have to finish at least one song today even though i m basically finished I still have to put it down this its just the life of a fat black Gemini artist who have an admiration for jimi Hendrix and jean Michael basquiat  job jimi basquiat need to come up cause I'm falling off

damn if i do damn if i dont

damn if i will damn if wont THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST FOR A WHILE  ironicly this is the first post of the year i had an alright new year i expected to be intoxicated but next year is a definite but it was fun but  now to bigger stuff i wanna make my life better so i will do that first with emotionally i have been lieing to myself about something and i just need to face facts about somethings and trust i will but i will say this its possible to love more then one person with that said i didnt lie about loveing anybody its just some more then others a new year i sent out i still need to explain everything with everybody  but it will be done pyscially as much as i love smokeing i have to stop not weed but other things me n god had a talk so things should get alil simplerif u dont hear from me i either finnally did it or im growing either death or grow
i pick
its my move