last day of the year part 1?

TO SAY IM NOT FUCKED UP IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

but we have our flaws right? the things that set me apart is i dont kno how to control these feeling of doing bad. thats a problem for many things in my life i cant really explain bt i have lost alot because my ways n selfish ass attitude so i dont wish me to hurt ppl . thats all i do if ppl say no they have not hang outg with me but i cause pain more then alot of ppl think everything i do is wrong .im just bad at everything bad friend bad boyfriend bad brother bad son bad man im not even a man i guess because its not proven ive do things that men do so im not one everyone life time n daze would be better wiuthout not a suiceide warning just ..............me:( whogive a fuck nobody so y should i

internal battle(friends vs loneness)

The mirror looks back at me n a wonder
i stare back n feel bad as i ponder
"if i die which one of my friends would miss me
,diss me
or would they all forget me"
the mirror responds back
"as a intelligent person i find that
to be the dumbest thing ever said out a mouth
if u belive that then you dont know whats friends are about"
i give an yell and stated
"YOU DONT FUCKIN KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITED
HOW I FEEL SO HATED
SO FUCKIN UNDERATED
IHATE BEING GRADED"
the mirror calmy says
"how many times thoughts run though ya head
how many times u wish u was died
how many times u said what u said
its so plain to see you hate life
but what do u do? nothing quick grab that knife
cut that skin
kill that pain
fuck ya friend
they are not here none of them are"
"but they could be if i give them a call"
"but are they promise to pick u up when u fall"
"idk but i will try them all"

voodoo

voodoo woman

hyponotizeing with one glance of her eyes
but not to be trusted a web of lies
is her main desguies
makking go between her theighs
false love only lust
no hearts just the touch
of a male gets her high
to the sky
never letting other shit go by
unnoticed
she focus
on tryin to get everyman
child
boy
kid
and everything else
no for them not for their weath
just because she has to do it for herself